This is where the personal stuff goes, along with some things I find important. For wordy musings, rants, discussions and opinions, you're in the right place. For anything else, hit the links below.
And everything I think of, I find out late that it’s an actual word from an actual language which actually means something totally different. AGH.
50 Shades of Grey was originally fanfiction based on the Twilight series, which was then published as a novel (along with 2 subsequent books). It sold over 100 million copies around the world and topped best-seller lists everywhere. It’s about to be adapted into a film, set to come out early next year.
It follows a college student named Ana Steele, who enters a relationship with a man named Christian Grey and is then introduced to a bastardised and abusive parody of BDSM culture.
While the book is paraded as erotica, the relationship between Ana and Christian is far from healthy. The core mantra of the BDSM community is “safe, sane and consensual”, and 50 Shades is anything but. None of the rules of BDSM practices (which are put in place to protect those involved) are actually upheld. Christian is controlling, manipulative, abusive, takes complete advantage of Ana, ignores safe-words, ignores consent, keeps her uneducated about the sexual practices they’re taking part in, and a multitude of other terrible things. Their relationship is completely sickening and unhealthy.
Basically, “the book is a glaring glamorisation of violence against women,” as Amy Bonomi so perfectly put it.
It’s terrible enough that a book like this has been absorbed by people worldwide. Now, we have a film that is expected to be a huge box-office success, and will likely convince countless more young women that it’s okay not to have any autonomy in a relationship, that a man is allowed to control them entirely. It will also show many young men that women are theirs to play with and dominate, thus contributing to antiquated patriarchal values and rape culture.
Most people I know on here are actually my friends, if not friendly acquaintances, and there’s a reason for that. I like you guys a lot. But, and I’m sorry, but…some of you guys can be pretty harsh with judging and assuming. <_<; And it’s a little intimidating. (Not ALL of you. Not even most of you. But some of you.)
I mean, is it really fair to assume bad things about someone just because they don’t agree with you? Wouldn’t it be better to discuss your thoughts and try to understand why they disagree, instead of just attacking them about it and trying to force them to change their minds? Wouldn’t it be best to make sure you’re taking about the same thing, and that you know what they’re trying to say, before you get offended and start flipping tables? And hey, would it really be the end of the world if it turned out you were the one in the wrong…?
After to witnessing some reactions to third parties recently, I’m starting to be hesitant to actually speak my mind on certain things here. I’m afraid that if I came out with certain unpopular opinions, people who currently interact with me on a civil and reasonable level would pull away and hiss "you’re one of THEM?!" And then I’d lose a friend/possible friend just because they assume they know why I disagree with them, and that it makes me a bad person. :\
I see a distinct lack of listening to the other side of arguments on this website. It’s…very troubling. And it makes it hard to trust people.
We recently got an ask from someone who was wondering if we could (privately) please explain the difference between saying “colored people” and “people of color.” This, in tandem with the amount of asks we’ve gotten where people use the term “colored person” I thought it was important to make this clear for why we don’t like this term. And even though this is easily Google-able, we’re sick and tired of seeing people using this in our askbox so here’s a one stop source.
The term “colored people” has been around for a loooooong time. White people used it to mean anyone who was nonwhite, but was mostly used to refer to black people in a derogatory and patronizing way. “Colored people” was invented by white people in order to be Othering and discriminatory. Now we understand the term means something different in some places, but when we hear/refer to this term, the definition we just gave you is the one that matters to us.
The term “people of color” as we use it today is much more recent, gaining popularity in the 1970s and 1980s in order to mean any person who is nonwhite. Franz Fanon is often credited as first using the term in order to talk about racism in a more inclusive way. “People of color” as we know it was coined in order to connect “minorities” (ugh) in order to celebrate our differences while acknowledging the racism and prejudices that we all face.
Some people do not like the term PoC because it can be erasing if individual groups and people, but I think it’s more about being in solidarity with one another. It is a term that we have created and that we chose to identify as. Sometimes PoC use the term “colored people” to refer to themselves or their works (like Ntozake Shange’s For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf) and that’s okay because that’s our word to reclaim and our word to use.
But at the end of the day if someone is asking you not to call them something because it is offensive then do not call them that. We do not want to be referred to as “colored women,” and will delete any ask that comes at us using the term “colored people.” So stop using it.
- the mods
It’s looking like I need to post something about this again…
There’s a simple yet excellent linguistic reason behind this as well. The phrase “colored people” places the word “colored” first, which emphasis that part over the “people” part. Whereas “people of color” switches it around and places the emphasis on people first, and colored second.
It’s a very simple difference that maybe a lot of people don’t register, but I think it’s a very important one nonetheless.
I’ve decided to once again attempt watching the US version of Being Human while I finish some art stuff…and ugh…even as background noise this is making me wince. Seriously, the UK version is one of THE BEST supernatural TV dramas I’ve seen (and I mean “drama” - as in, characters interacting and life stuff, not really action-packed suspense, though it has some of that too). I LOVED that show. And I knew the US Syfy channel version wouldn’t be the same, but it’s still hard to believe how bad it is. D: Not even just “bad in comparison with the original” but just plain BAD. It’s so shallow and overdramatic and UGH. Vampire Diaries is better than this.
Okay I’m gonna try watching True Blood again from the beginning. Also I need to catch up on Orphan Black. Shows!
Oh my gawd True Blood. I tried with that show. I really did. XD That’s one I actually haven’t read the books to, and I almost waited, but my husband was like “you…
I read the first two books that True Blood is based on. They are horrible and not worth reading. I only read the second because I was told by the women I worked with, “Oh they get better! They are so good!”
If you think the sex on the SHOW is arbitrary? The books are even worse. Also written in first person and it’s seriously, “I’m Sookie Stackhouse and I’m psychic and special and everybody hates me but I’m also blonde and pretty and my boobs are big.” Nnnnoooo…
The show is goofy, yeah. I kinda lost interest during season 3. It was just. So freaking silly. Season 2 spent WAY too much time on a side/background villain plot. Season 1 and 2 are still fairly okay though.
I suspected that would be the case, with the books. :\ Thanks for the warning. And haha, yeah…the fairy stuff pretty much did me in. By season four I was like…
(….except with less rage and more eye-rolling…)